


Tumblr Prompts

by Enlightened_Introvert



Series: The Future and Beyond [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25853512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enlightened_Introvert/pseuds/Enlightened_Introvert
Summary: This is a new collection of tumblr prompt responses that will take place after the original series, mostly during and after Steven Universe Future.
Series: The Future and Beyond [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876021
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Tumblr Prompts

**Author's Note:**

> su prompt: Bismuth trying to come to terms with Rose trying to flee the Diamonds and how this informed Rose's entire military strategy, in that she didn't want ANYONE to get hurt at all and the whole revolution expanded way out of what she might have originally planned?
> 
> https://introvert-celeste.tumblr.com/post/626210845776658432/su-prompt-bismuth-trying-to-come-to-terms-with

Bismuth stood on the warp pad for a moment as the light dissipated around her, determined and nervous in equal measures.

Rose’s fountain stood serenely in the shadows of the surrounding cliffs, silent save for the distant babbling of its healing waters. Under different circumstances, it could have been a peaceful retreat from the trials of daily life; to Bismuth and the countless gems who passed through its arches over the years, however, it was not so simple. This fountain was their saving grace, discussed in hushed whispers during the war lest their enemies learn of its miraculous properties, and in extension the legendary abilities of their leader. It was also a grim reminder, recalling its necessity in the intensifying rebellion. To Bismuth, it was a symbol of her devotion to a gem she thought she knew.

The gems of Little Homeworld scarcely ventured out to the fountain after they were healed of their corruption, treating it with the same respect as a sacred place. Since Steven hit the road, however, this was the only place that gems could reasonably travel to in order to heal any damage to their gemstones. One could find a small group gathered here on any given day, recovering and finding solace in the tranquil setting, but Bismuth was lucky enough to find it completely deserted.

In those three years following the healing, Bismuth had her own reasons for keeping her distance, and they all boiled down to her complicated feelings surrounding Rose. She was not ready to confront them. In the spirit of personal growth, however, she figured it was time to revisit those feelings.

As she walked the path toward one of the fountain’s four star-shaped entrances, she couldn’t help but feel a wave of nostalgia. She recalled the countless rotations she spent in this spot, carefully carving out what she considered one of her greatest works of architecture from mountainous terrain, using nothing but her own two hands.

As the fighting increased between the Crystal Gem rebels and Homeworld’s armies, so too did the casualties, and Bismuth was one of the few gems close enough to Rose to know that it was taking a serious toll on her. She remembered the crowds of rebels who would flock to her after every battle, barely holding themselves together as they waited for her soothing tears and comforting smile. She remembered the moment she realized that Rose was not, in fact, infallible when, after many days of healing, she found that she had no more tears to shed for the gems she could not bring back.

This fountain was one of Bismuth’s many gifts to her idol, her friend. Every stone in this place had been so lovingly crafted; she didn’t even know that it would work, and yet she worked so diligently so that, even in the midst of great tragedy, Rose could still find peace. Indeed, the immense relief on Rose’s face made it all worth it. As she stood at the top of the stairs, gazing at its magnificence, however, she struggled to recall that simple gratification.

Alongside Rose’s tears, Bismuth poured her heart and soul into this fountain, this planet, this cause. She laid her gem on Rose’s anvil because she trusted her. All of the Crystal Gems trusted her, found hope in her presence. Old, bitter tears burned at the corners of her eyes as she gazed at the towering statue before her, its arms outstretched, inviting all who entered the sanctuary into its stony embrace. Even as the artist, she wondered how she could just stand there so serenely, as if she wasn’t playing everyone for a fool. How dare she look so peaceful when her actions were actively hurting her own gems, on both sides of the war?

Rose Quartz. Pink Diamond. How ironic, that Bismuth would spend so much energy fighting against the Diamonds, only to learn that she had idolized one the whole time.

Still, approaching the base of the fountain, she felt some of that old devotion weigh on her, bringing her to her knees before one of the seated statues. She bowed, waited in earnest for Rose’s insistent voice urging her to rise, but it never came. When she raised her head, the statue didn’t so much as regard her, bearing the same impassive expression as its larger sister.

In that moment, she realized that she had never seen Rose with such a tranquil expression. There was always a storm behind her eyes, a storm that Bismuth always mistook as Rose’s inner fighting spirit. Turns out, it was just another façade.

“Been awhile, huh?” She said, her voice cutting through the still air.

The statue was, of course, silent.

Without thinking, Bismuth got up and seated herself beside it. She closed her eyes, feeling the presence of the statue. True to size, it almost felt as if they were here again in this place, sharing a pensive moment before heading back to the battlefield. The moment hurt more than Bismuth could even begin to describe.

There were a million things she wanted to say, so much pain she waited to offload onto this piece of stone, and yet when she opened her mouth to speak, the first thing that came out of her mouth was this:

“I pity you.”

And she felt it in the very core of her gem, at the very depths of her soul, she felt it. She pitied her as much as she pitied herself, and the Crystal Gems, and all the gems who had to fight in this gem-forsaken war. She pitied her with the same intensity that she worshipped the ground beneath her feet, those thousands of years ago. She wanted to hate her, and yet how could she, after she had invested so much of herself in loving her, as a leader, as a friend?

“You were in way over your head, and so was I,” was the next thing she said. “I wanted to fix a system that was too big and broken to fix, and you wanted to hide from it. In the process, we were doing exactly what we were made to do: you led; I followed…until I didn’t.” _I guess it makes sense that you poofed me. Discipline for a gem who’s stepped out of line,_ she continued in her head, unwilling to speak this bitter thought into existence. Instead, she turned away from the statue, unwilling to face it anymore. “Sometimes, I still wish you woulda shattered me back then, so I could hate you properly now.”

Her breath hitched as the tears started to flow. “I wish I could hate you, so I wouldn’t have to think about the terrible things that _I’ve_ done!”

Her voice echoed against the walls and the surrounding cliffs. The rose bushes— _her_ rose bushes—rustled at the disturbance, the first time they acknowledged her presence since she got there. Steven had told her about them once, about how aimless and hostile they became without Rose’s guidance, but they never caused any trouble for as long as Bismuth had known of them. Sure enough, they stopped moving as quickly as they had started, and all was quiet once more.

It was almost a comfort, knowing that a piece of Rose was there, a passive listener to her deepest feelings, one that could easily pass its judgement onto her if it so chose.

“Yellow started healing shattered gems from the war a couple weeks ago. I bet you never expected that.” Bismuth continued evenly, grabbing control of her voice. “Did you know they were still on Earth? Did you know about the Cluster?” She sighed. “I guess it doesn’t matter now, but you were always so concerned about those shards. Crystal gems, Homeworld gems, they were all balled up together and stuffed in the planet’s mantle just so they can blow the planet up thousands of years later. I hope you didn’t know about all that.”

She was beating around the bush, and she knew it. That awful guilt that had been building inside her throughout those two weeks was becoming too much to bear. That was why she came here in the first place: to get this weight off her chest and finally air out that old resentment she still clung to, toward Rose, toward herself, toward the entire system that put them in this situation in the first place.

In her peripheral vision, she caught a glimpse of her reflection on the water, with the statue barely visible beside her. The curls of its hair were crafted so delicately, she could have sworn she saw them bounce in the gentle breeze. A great tangle of emotions moved her to action as she gazed at her face in the pale pink waters, slapping at it angrily.

“I can’t bear to even look ‘em in the eyes!” She sobbed, as a cascade of droplets rained down on the pair and their distorted images in the disturbed pool. “Those healed gems come to Little Homeworld because they don’t know what to do with themselves, and I don’t feel right telling them what to do! I don’t feel right because…”

She turned to the statue, her anguish overflowing.

“Because half the time I’m wondering ‘did I shatter this one?’”

She wanted comfort; she wanted punishment; she wanted _something;_ but the statue was quiet, painfully quiet.

“Yeah, I’ve shattered gems, way more than I’d care to admit. I bet you didn’t know that.” She said it like she had gotten the final word, but she didn’t feel at all triumphant.

In that moment, all Bismuth could think of was Rose’s horrified expression as she showed off the Breaking Point, what it was capable of. She could only imagine how Rose would have reacted to this. Yes, accidents happened and self defense was necessary on the battlefield, but she’d be fooling herself if she thought that that was all she ever shattered a gem for. She knew what she was capable of. She preached about a fair fight, but there were plenty of fights where her first blow was the killing blow. She knew what it felt like to have a gemstone crush against her fist.

“Would you hate me if you knew?”

Although the statue still offered no response, Bismuth already knew the answer to that one. Rose felt many things and did many things—she _was_ many things—but Bismuth knew without a doubt that she didn’t have a hateful photon in her physical form. She may resent her, she may never forgive her, but she would never hate her, or anyone, for that matter.

Bismuth considered herself a proud gem, but she wasn’t too proud to admit that she was wrong. It wasn’t even a matter of right or wrong when it came to the war. There were no winners, only those who came out better off than their opponents. Everyone suffered, one way or another. Bismuth suffered from trauma and guilt, equally; she suffered every time a reconstructed gem soldier regarded her wearily, a gem who had followed orders right to their own demise.

She laid a hand on the statue’s shoulder, drained and defeated. “I don’t forgive you,” she said simply, “but I don’t forgive myself, either.”

They were both desperate to end the fighting, but their desperation only led to greater destruction.

“I hope you would feel the same.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! I do want to get back into writing DESPERATELY, but I've been in a writing block for a good portion of the last two years. Please be patient, and I promise I will write more eventually. Again, thank you to everyone, anyone, who reads this.


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